So, are we all just going to pretend Dancing With The Stars is still a dance competition?
Because Andy Richter is out here saying the quiet part loud, and nobody seems to be blinking. The guy is basically running a political campaign for Prom King on a show that’s supposed to be about, you know, dancing. And honestly, I can’t even be mad. It’s the most honest thing to happen on network television in a decade.
Richter went on Conan’s podcast and laid it all bare. He said he’s hopeful he'll stick around because, and I quote, "it's a TV show."
Let that sink in.
He’s not talking about nailing his footwork or perfecting his frame. He's talking about being good content. He’s relying on his partner Emma Slater’s “military campaign” on social media to get votes. This isn't a strategy for winning a competition. This is a strategy for surviving a reality show, which are two very, very different things.
The Cringe is the Point
And the campaign is working. Richter, a 58-year-old man best known for sitting next to a much more famous man, is now a TikTok star. Or, he’s trying to be. Emma Slater, who he calls the "Cecil B. DeMille of our TikTok," is filming videos of him getting his butt slapped. It’s supposed to be funny, I guess. It’s mostly just… sad. No, ‘sad’ doesn’t cover it—it’s a five-alarm blaze of generational pandering.
They're reminding the kids—the Alix Earle and Mormon Wives crowd—that he was the voice of Mort in Madagascar. That’s the hook. Not his charisma, not his journey, but a B-list character from a 20-year-old animated movie.
And it’s working. People are eating it up. One fan apparently posted, in tears, “IM SO MATERNAL TOWARDS HIM.” We’ve reached a point where audiences are voting for a contestant on a dance show because he reminds them of a baby. Richter’s response? “As long as I get the vote.”
You have to respect the honesty, if nothing else.
Meanwhile, the actual dancers are getting scores. Olympic gymnast Jordan Chiles and influencer Whitney Leavitt are pulling 24s out of 30. Solid scores. Richter? He and Slater pulled an 18/30 for TikTok night. An eighteen. They just barely beat Corey Feldman the week before. And yet, Corey Feldman is gone, and Richter is still here, charming his way through another week. It’s a joke. The whole thing.
It just reminds me of everything else. The entire media landscape is built on this same garbage logic. It’s not about who has the best story or the most well-researched point; it’s about who can scream the loudest on Twitter or make the dumbest face in a thumbnail. It ain't about quality. It's about engagement. And here I am, trying to write something that matters, when I could probably just post a video of my cat and get more traffic. But I digress...
"Vote For Your Favorite, Not The Best"
This is the real poison. This is the line that exposes the whole rotten core of the show.
Richter said one of the executive producers told the cast they’re asking America to "vote for your favorite dancer, not the best dancer."
Read that again. Favorite, not best.
That one sentence is the entire business model. It’s the get-out-of-jail-free card for every terrible dancer with a big personality. It’s the reason people with two left feet and a massive fanbase can stick around for weeks while genuinely talented performers get sent packing. It’s an explicit admission that the "competition" part is pure window dressing for a high-school popularity contest with a bigger budget.
They’re not even hiding it anymore. They’re telling the contestants the rules of the rigged game to their faces. And offcourse Andy Richter, a guy who has survived in the brutal world of showbiz for 30 years, knows exactly how to play. He knows his dancing is mediocre. He knows he can’t win on merit. So he’s leaning into the only thing he can control: being the likable, funny old guy. The show's "People's Princess." What a beautiful experience this is, he says, his heart cracked open. Give me a break.
But then again, maybe I'm the idiot here. I'm the one watching it, writing about it, getting worked up over a show that's designed to be nothing more than empty calories for our brains. We complain about the state of things, but we keep tuning in. Maybe this is exactly the kind of television we deserve.
So What's the Point Anymore?
Look, Andy Richter is just playing the game by the rules he was given. He’s smart enough to see the show for what it is: a glorified social media campaign where the prize is a glittery ball. He’s not trying to be the best dancer. He’s trying to be the best character on a TV show, and in that, he might actually be succeeding. He’s not winning Dancing With The Stars. He’s just showing us why it was never really about the dancing to begin with.
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